


Home (I've found I belong)

by simulacraryn



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Freeform, Friendship, Gundam Wing Christmas Exchange, Mental Health Issues, New Year's Resolutions, Older Characters, References to Depression, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-02 11:38:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17263526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/simulacraryn/pseuds/simulacraryn
Summary: Retirement is looming over Heero and Relena's heads during Christmas AC 219. An uncharted future for two people that were molded for their respective positions in life.





	Home (I've found I belong)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [peachandbetty](https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachandbetty/gifts).



> Inspiration Song goes to Depeche Mode's "Home" off Ultra. 
> 
> This goes to PeachandBetty, one of my top fave 1xR writers. I tweaked a lot with your gift idea, but I *hope* you enjoy this, as I wanted to step outside of the box. I did not want to write something that's been done, but I also wanted your gift to be special.

**AC 219**

The Winter season brought many complicated emotions to the forefront of many people whom lived or survived the Eve Wars. As snow collected in the streets of Amsterdam, a couple walked the sidewalks in a comfortable silence - gloved hands entwined within each other. Not a single soul could recognize the figures whom to this very day couldn't get a day's worth of privacy. The slightly taller of the two tilted their head in the direction of a building across the street. Carols filled the streets as families huddled into coffee shops and bakeries, all part of the last minute hustle before the Holiday celebrations.

Traffic died down at a stop sign and they both crossed the street. The shorter figure laughed as children in a nearby park began to have a snowball fight. The other merely glanced in their direction, leaning down over his partner and casually brushing away a strand of hair from their view. - "Do you regret not having children?" - The voice is male, it's tone blunt as ever before. 

"No," - The shorter figure, a woman, murmured. - "Our career paths would have been unfair on any children we had."

"With our retirement looming… is it too late to try for a family?"- He asks, pulling the door to the building they had occupied for the last four months. The move had been fairly recent, but it'd been done so that they could get away from the Brussels press hounding them. Ascending the stairs to their second story townhouse, they were quick to pull off their gloves in order to provide their fingerprint access for the door.

"We would need to speak to our doctors," - She spoke again, this time her tone was neutral. - "At my age, birth does bring forth complications. I mean, there's adoption and surrogacy..."

"Surrogacy would be complicated given the public lives we've led..."

"The vultures who would sell their stories to the press." - She added upon entering the townhouse, closing the door behind them. They began to shed outer layers, scarves and coats went to hang in the nearby coat closet. Gloves safely tucked into the pockets of the coat, alongside their knitted beanies. Soon enough, the bundled figures were now feeling lighter and able to move their limbs. 

Relena Darlian aged gracefully, now at the tender age of thirty nine, she looked the polish image of a politician meant to enter politics for the first time. That would have been correct, if she hadn't been in the spotlight since the tender age of sixteen. Spending the last twenty-three years working tirelessly for peace and the vision of the Earth's Sphere Unified Nations had been a challenge that most would say robbed her of the twilight years of youth. Relena, however, hadn't seen it that way. She served dutifully in any position she held over the decades and now, she was ready to step away to live a quiet life as the patron of charities, taking over for her elderly mother, Maureen.

Her once dark blonde hair had seen many changes over the years, these days she sported it in a sleek pixie cut. She'd lighten it, allowing the stray gray hairs to show as marks of pride, instead of concealing them in a show of vanity. A champion of body positivity, many called it in the media… Relena often scoffed at this title and merely said it was just her being lazy to see the colorist.

Her companion was another public figure, albeit, he was not a public figure in a very traditional sense. The man who came to be known as Heero Yuy during the Eve Wars had been born in the colonies without a true recollection of his life prior to Operation Meteor. His documents had been sealed and destroyed during the war as part of the colony erasing any background on it's guerrilla fighters. From what little memories Heero could describe, his knowledge was of an Aoi and a Seis raising him until they were killed in an explosion. Of a man called Odin, whom Heero didn't wish to speak much.

In order to distinguish him from the beloved politician, Relena asked that he choose a middle name over twenty years ago, when the ESUN was ratifying the identities of the unknown Pilots and legalizing their existence essentially. Duo kept his name, choosing to add Francis as a middle name to honor Father Francis Maxwell. Trowa, whose identity had been found as a result of a DNA test with Catherine, proving they were a blood relation - was able to become Triton Bloom.

Thus it'd left Heero, whom had looked at Relena and asked for a book of Sanquan baby names.

He'd chosen Vilmar for a name, finding its meaning appropriate. He'd been deliberating names with Duo and Quatre, until he'd found a suitable name. Once the ink dried, Heero V. Yuy was now a legally recognized person in the ESUN's database. It'd felt weird at first, but the first time he'd heard his friends jokingly call him Vilmar, he'd immediately felt an attachment to _his_ name for the first time in his life.

That had also been the year that altered his appearance to what it is now. He had grown accustomed to the black patch over his left eye, which had been amputated twenty years ago. Over the years, he experimented with his hair style in an attempt to tame his wild hair. Eventually his barber suggested a high fade with a textured quiff, a style he kept loyal to for the last decade, even as gray hairs began to trickle and weave themselves against the brown locks. 

"I don't look forward to packing my office." 

Heero plopped down on the couch unceremoniously, as Relena found her way next to him and settled in, tucking her legs under her body and leaning into his side. It was known that the two of them would retire from their respective careers. Heero had served in many capacities over the years. Roughly fifteen years ago he had landed a cushy office as the Director of Security Services, a position he would retire from once Relena's office tenure ended. An office he occupied for so long it became a second home and now, the prospect of packing up decades worth of mementos became daunting.

"Imagine me, twenty three years Brussels need to be packed up and moved back to Sanq. Not just our offices, Heero, but our entire lives. I'm glad we rented this place until we could face our situation back in Belgium."

"Think of it as the overdue vacation we deserved. One without conflicts, or micromanaging our teams. I'm glad that we were able to hire Dorothy's company to ease our transitions into civilian life."

The word felt like sand in his mouth. Neither Relena or Heero truly knew the meaning of civilian life. The adjustment would be a challenge, one they were willing to take on without hesitation. It'd been her idea to retire and Heero realized that once Relena was gone from public life, his "mission" of protecting her was complete. At first, he'd been at a loss on what to do for himself. It'd been Duo, donut in hand and coffee in the other that suggested a great idea. One he was holding onto for after the initial adjustment period. 

"That was a good call on your part, Heero." - Relena continued, moving to reach for the remote control. - "Have you given thought to what you'll do next? I mean..."

"Duo's had some suggestions. I know that you'll be handling charities back in Sanq and we did agree on attending therapy." - He added, brushing back his hair. - "But I think I want to settle away from the public eye, at least for a while. I know Trowa's been working with an organization that pairs service animals with people, he asked if I'd be willing to become a dog trainer. I find I might like the idea."

"I think that would be lovely."- Relena reached, placing a kiss on his cheek. Gathering herself, she padded over to the galley style kitchen, peering out towards the living room where Heero remained seated. Perhaps she could get started on dinner early, right? - "Have you figured out where we're spending the holidays?"

Every year, they joined the rest of the ESUN Echelon at MO II to commemorate the Eve Wars and Mariemeia Rebellion, however this year Relena wished for a different holiday celebration. She'd been planning an escapade for a while, but hadn't booked anything as she personally wanted Heero to have a choice in the matter. Peace had been attained and maintained by them, it was time to start releasing the past. Rummaging through their groceries, Relena hummed along to a tune in order to break the silence.

"Somewhere warm. You mentioned St. Maarteen a few months ago."

"I'll get us booked, then."- She replied with a smile. Heero returned the grin, feeling his body finally relax. He _loved_ just how easy life with her became. At first, it'd been a mess between the fallout of the the wars and the loss of his eye. Yet, Relena handled it all with an ease and he learned the hard way that she wasn't the same teenager he'd encountered all those years ago on the beach.

He succeeded in killing Relena to a poetic extent, for the woman who rose in her stead had become the very picture of temperance and peace. To say he worshipped the ground she walked on was a sincere understatement at times. Over the years, Heero was told he was a Phoenix - always rising from the ashes of his own deaths. Little did they know that Relena was a Phoenix as well, except she rose from far worse deaths than Heero could comprehend. He was destined for a world of suffering, but the Princess hadn't had a want and her symbolic death should have broken her psyche.

It didn't. Or at least she did not show any signs of it outwardly.

But **he** knew better. It was in her eyes whenever the Winter Holidays hit, or whenever her birthday arrived. He could see her troubled self through the intricate masks she wore for the world. She wore hers without resorting to a physical mask like her brother had, bearing the weight on her shoulders like Atlas bore the world on his. Zechs was Sissyphus, always pushing the boulder only to slide back down the mountain. Fate had been cruel to the siblings, he once overheard Noin discuss with Sally and the sentence stuck with him.

The sound of a sob snapped Heero out of his thoughts, when he turned his head to the kitchen. Relena leaned towards the counter, head bowed and a second (was it really?) choked sob caught his ears. He took short strides until reaching Relena, pulling her flush against him before asking in a hushed whisper - "What happened?"

"Heero, don't you feel like a part of us is dying in a few weeks?"

He blinked several times. The thought hadn't crossed his mind, given he'd legally been dead several times. Still, she spoke on the subject of an emotional death and that wasn't something he'd been keen to experience. Spinning Relena around to face him, Heero reached to shut off the stove.

"But dinner..."

"Forget it. Forget it all."

He guided Relena away from the kitchen, tearing at the remaining layers of outer clothing. The concept of life and death was a nuisance he didn’t want to handle. The fact she felt like a part of her was dying was enough to push him into a sense of failure. Her hands crept up, pushing his t-shirt upwards, nails occasionally scratching along his spine. He felt Relena shiver under warm breath, her body arching from the wall.

“We aren't dying.” He kisses a spot on her neck, nibbling along the soft flesh around her throat. Vulnerable, Relena tilted her head to give Heero free range to consume. For a while now, physical intimacy had been one of the few ways to feel the world. For years, a debilitating depression overcame Relena as mortality kicked in. Not quite a midlife crisis, she and her therapist made note that both she and Heero needed career changes. That they had grown completely indifferent to their duties and in turn that was creating a sense of unfulfillment.

“We are alive,” He whispered into her ear, hands trailing over her hips to push down her slacks. “Look at me, Relena.”

She does, breath hitched at her throat. Neither could make a move while she thought this way, but it didn't matter. All they needed was to ground themselves, right now.

“I won't stop loving you the day we retire.”

“And what happens if we realize that we were just...together based off an ideal. An idealistic vision and--”

He cuts her off with that wolfish grin he'd perfected over the years. She noticed just how intense Heero still was, despite losing an eye. Relena took note that even she had physically changed, growing into a comfortable body with curves and a slight paunch that Heero held on to when the slept. Age had matured them whereas the warforged their physical bodies, scarring them into who they are.

“Relena, you're stuck with me remember? You said 'I do’ same day I did. I'll be here, by your side…”

“But not even death could do us part.” She recited the end of their vows, spoken in secret to a handful of guests. Friends, chosen family - survivors. It was truth, to the two of them, that Death couldn't undo what the stars sought to make collide.


End file.
